


knowing me, knowing you

by eckarius



Category: Mamma Mia! (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, F/M, Out of Character, Sadness, but really that’s the entire movie so :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 02:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18298385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eckarius/pseuds/eckarius
Summary: i was really bitter about mamma mia: here we go again!, so here i go again, back on my depressive bullshit.





	knowing me, knowing you

**Author's Note:**

> you may be wondering, how is this on-brand for a preacher slut like me?
> 
> well, it isn’t.

The words hit Sophie like a brick straight to her face. Sky told her they needed to talk,  _ urgently,  _ and Sophie followed because she thought he would bring her into their room and try to calm her down after her meltdown about the storm. He loved to comfort her, she feels like she doesn’t deserve it now, but she didn’t expect what Sky said to her to be the reason they’d be alone together.

“This isn’t working out.”

It echoes like something said too loudly in a quiet room, yet it falls only on her ears. It barely sounds real coming from Sky, this has to be some kind of joke, he can’t be saying he wants to separate.

“No,  _ no, _ Sky, if this is about the hotel—” She laughs a bit, she’s decided it’s a joke and that if she laughs, Sky will break the ruse and he’ll relieve her. But. . . _ no. _ He stares at her with dark clouds in his eyes, tears threatening to brim. That’s when it truly hits her. That’s when Sophie’s heart drops from her chest to the deepest pit in her stomach.

“That’s the thing. It’s  _ always _ about the hotel, always about your mother, always about how you want to make her proud. I’ve been working my arse off for you, just to make your pipe dream come true. And now you’re cursing your dad out over a storm! Like poor Sam can control the weather!” Sky’s head drops, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. He exhales low, she hears the jerky beginnings of sobs brewing.

“I didn’t mean to yell at Sam! I’ve just been stressed,” her voice trails off, she realises she hasn’t told him. Oh God, why hasn’t she told Sky? “And. . .I’ve been hiding something from you that I really shouldn’t have, but it’s adding to the stress.”

Sky stares at Sophie with disbelief briefly crossing his face. “What have you been hiding? That on top of being a royal bitch for the past few days, you’ve been thinking about following in your mum’s footsteps and fucking around with several men? Because let me just say, I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to change the course of your life just to match hers!”

She covers her face, she sniffles and tries to silence her small moans of distress from Sky. He’ll find a way to scream at her for crying about this.

“I’m pregnant, Sky! I’ve been hormonal and bitchy and unbearable because I’m pregnant!” She stands straight, balling her fists at her sides and making her voice as stern as she can. But, the facade fades when tears start running down her red face, matching the red of her eyes.

He looks shocked, bordering on hurt, but she doesn’t acknowledge it. Not after he called her a bitch and, essentially, a whore.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is gentle as he approaches her, but she bats his hand away, turning her back to him and crossing her arms over her chest. “Sophie, please.”

His begging falls on deaf ears.

“You said you want to break up. And you know what? You managed to make the best argument for it in under ten minutes. Don’t think you can take back everything you said because I’m having your baby.” She wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, her vision blurry. She closes her eyes. “We’re through. Go home.”

“I am home. Please, you’re emotional, you’re hurting, I never would have said those things if—” Sky tries to plead his case, yet Sophie doesn’t let him finish. Her heart is aching, her stomach is churning and twisting, she wants to collapse to her knees and wail her sorrows to the heavens, yet she can’t. She won’t let Sky overpower her.

Sophie shakes her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders. “Go back to England, or New York, wherever your flat is. I never want to see you again.”

He rests a hand on her hip, and she jerks around, grabbing his wrist and tugging it away from her. “You don’t get to touch me! Leave! Get the fuck off this island and get out of my life!”

Her voice is hoarse and sounds wrong coming out of her, yet it does manage to get Sky to cower down, and walk out of their room. When he closes the door behind him, after getting one last look at her, small and red and sniffling, she resolves to cry out the rest of her anger. Sophie curls up on their bed, it feels so much bigger when it’s only her. She buries her face into one of the pillows, blue silk that glimmers like the ocean, and pours salt into it. God, she couldn’t manage to make this day any worse. Now she’s forgotten about the hotel and the storm, only focused on the pure heat of the moment with Sky.

It all happened so fast, she can barely begin to process how just a while ago, she was happily married and anticipating to get the hotel ready for wealthy investors. It’s a sick joke. This whole day has to be some divine punishment brought on for no reason at all.

She’s inconsolable when Tanya and Rosie burst into her room, patting her back and brushing her hair away from her face, holding her and asking why she’s crying. Sophie wants to puke, her throat is burning and her lungs are tired from hysterically weeping.

“Dearie, you need to calm down for the baby,” Rosie coos, letting Sophie rest her head on her shoulder.

The rest of the night is a blur. Tanya brings her tea, and Sophie passes out some time after finishing it, all while she gave the entire story of what happened. She tears up retelling it, but she gets through the whole thing. She must have ate, but she doesn’t remember what.

When Harry and Bill come the next day, throwing their arms open at the sight of Sophie by the dock, surrounded by Rosie, Tanya, and Sam, they quickly stop running at her when they notice her standing completely still, and the sullen expressions on all of their faces.

Sky left early in the morning, and Sam only learned about their divorce as he was getting on the boat, suitcases in tow.

“Just be glad Donna didn’t have to be here to see this.” Sam says to her at the kitchen table, holding her hand.

“She would have whupped Sky before he had a chance to step foot on that boat,” Bill remarks, getting only a delayed, muffled chuckle from Rosie. The rest of the room stays barren of any emotion beyond somber emptiness.

Sophie sighs, standing up and returning to her room. She feels grey, like all of the colour has drained from her and she’s merely a ghost. Sure, she’s still Sophie, she’s still alive, she’s still breathing, yet there’s no vibrancy in her. Her group of parental figures notice how she sways from room to room like she has no feet, just drifting along with no distinct emotion on her face.

She remains like this for most of her pregnancy, wandering around the island with no aim of going anywhere, just replaying the fight in her mind. She mouths the words she said, but they lack any meaning now.

Skye tries to call, tries to beg his way back into Sophie’s life, yet all of his calls are ignored. Eight months in, and he gives up on seeing Sophie again.

She cries for the first time since the fight when she sees a picture of her mom, young, bright-eyed, holding a bundle that she could tell was her. Sophie holds the photo in her hand, and she sobs thinking about how her mom could have done it when she can’t even get through pregnancy. She still has years to go, and Donna managed them with ease. There were bumps, sure, but she managed to smile and assure Sophie that she couldn’t be happier to have a daughter like her. She has no idea how she’ll manage that with her own child.

———

Sophie sits in the church on top of the hill, holding her stomach and trying to gather the courage to speak.

“M-Mom, I know you probably can’t hear me, but I need your advice.” Her voice echoes gently, much more welcoming than intimidating.

“I want to know how you did it. I have no idea how I’ll manage to take care of my daughter when she comes. If she looks anything like Sky, I won’t be able to look at her without crying. I just. . .I need some support.” She looks up at the ceiling, hoping maybe if she projects her voice loud enough, Donna will hear her from all the way up there, and she’ll chime in with some words of wisdom. But alas, just the whistle of the breeze blowing through the windows of the church, the gentle waves hitting the cliff below her. 

Sophie makes her way back down to the hotel, envisioning her mom sitting up in that church, asking just the same of her mother while cradling her stomach and choking back tears.

———

Sophie finds the picture of her on her wedding day, holding Sky close and grinning up at him with the brightest smile on her face, Donna and Sam watching on with proud grins. It took her years, yet she can look at him again. She can’t say she forgives him, yet she can say they were once together, and that it didn’t work. But just because it didn’t work, it didn’t negate the fact that she spent ten years in marital bliss, so glad to wake up to the sight of him. At least there was some positivity to make of this situation.

While she stares at the photo, lounged on a chair in the front courtyard, she hears bare feet padding across the cobblestone.

“Mommy! Mommy, Grandpa Bill and Grandpa Harry are here!” Donna calls out, bringing Sophie’s attention away from the photo. She’s running top speed, and nearly crashes into Sophie’s chair when she comes to a stumbling stop.

She sits up in her chair, smiling warmly at Donna. “Did they bring you any presents?” She stands, grabbing her daughter’s small hand and taking her sweet time walking out to the dock.

This must be how her mother felt. Even after her bitterness towards Sam, all of her mistakes and regrets, she still managed to ignore all of it in favour of Sophie, only focused on how perfect her life managed to be once her daughter came into it. It’s egotistical to say her mother’s life was made perfect with the addition of herself, yet she only knew that due to her frequent gushing about Sophie. She hopes Donna knows how she’s changed her life for the better, and ruffles her dark curls before she rushes off to her grandpas, hugging their legs.

And Sophie understands why her mother did it all. It was painful, and it felt hopeless sometimes, but being able to spend her life with someone as special as her daughter, and her massive family, and this beautiful island, it really didn’t get better than this.

**Author's Note:**

> i was really hung up over how “knowing me, knowing you” was misused in the movie (because all of it’s meaning??? lost on donna and sam), so i thought up a scenario where it would fit better (ie, sophie and sky getting divorced). tbh i wish the movie hadn’t been a soulless cash grab, just so we could have gotten something like this.


End file.
